Can't
by Always Remember Sirius Black
Summary: Songfic about Draco and Ginny and the utter hopelessness of what they have.


**A/N: **First songfic and first attempt at D/G. I'm… semi-satisfied. Eh. Whatever. Dedicated to Ash and Megz, whom I love very much. Megz, you sort of got your ending. Ash, Happy Birthday my love.  
  
**Disclaimer:** Characters and everything HP related is not mine. Tis JK's. *Mutters about her not deserving them after OotP* Song is Fallen Embers by Enya.  
  
_Once, as my heart remembers,  
all the stars were fallen embers.  
Once, when night seemed forever  
I was with you.  
  
_He stares down at me with a hatred in his bleak grey eyes that I never thought I'd have to see again. It has been so long since he's looked at me this way that I feel my breath rush out in a small, inaudible gasp. I feel so suddenly naked and exposed as he stares at me. He knows how my fists clench when I'm angry and how easily it is to see my emotions in my eyes. He knows that only _he_ can provoke me this way. And he knows that the irony of it all, is that only _he_ has the power to calm me. But he _can't_.  
  
_Once, in the care of morning  
in the air was all belonging.  
Once, when that day was dawning.  
I was with you.  
  
_His groupies stand behind him, malicious grins and ugly sneers plastered on their faces. My heart is doing that strange pitter patter dance that comes with nervousness and I'm sure it skips a beat when he begins to speak.  
  
"If it isn't ickle Weasley. Now what on earth are you doing down here, Red? Without your Gryffindor heroes to protect you?" His silky drawl floats through the air and as quiet as it is, it blocks out the sound of the snickers from behind him. All I hear is him. All I see is him.   
  
"I don't need anyone to protect me." The statement was meant to sound stern and steady but I have to kick myself when it comes out high pitched and sounding much like a question.  
  
A smirk takes its place on his face and I feel my knees go weak as he reaches out a pale hand, placing it ever so gently on my cheek. The smoothness of his skin does not surprise me and it takes every inch of my being to stop myself from throwing my arms around his neck and begging him to stop playing. It isn't right to tease this way. To throw emotions and feelings and _love so casually out the window. His hand suddenly gives a rough shove and I stumble backwards in surprise. "You Gryffindors are all the same. So sure that you're brave, when all you really are is stupid."  
  
I bite on my tongue to stop myself from responding, because I'm not as stupid as they all may think. A million witty quips rise from my mind. But I won't say them. He hurts me like no one in this world can. For the sake of his reputation and for his name and for his house and for everything that matters more than the girl he loves. And he begs me with his eyes to hurt him back. But I __can't.  
  
_How far we are from morning.__  
How far we are  
And the stars shining through the darkness,  
Falling in the air.  
  
_It's not as though I don't see him watching me from across the room. And it's not that I don't care. It's that I wish I didn't. I wish my cheek did not still sting, despite how small the assault had been. I wish his words were not now embedded deeply into my mind. I wish the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach would fade away, I wish it didn't hurt so much, I wish I could forget. I wish I could hate him. But I _can't_.   
  
_Once, as the night was leaving  
into us our dreams were weaving.  
Once, all dreams were worth keeping.  
I was with you.  
  
_The doorway stares me in the face, almost daring me to enter. And what pains me the most is that it would be so simple. So goddamn simple to just turn the handle and walk in. And he's in there. I know he's in there. For a moment I almost walk away without another thought or hesitation. But I don't. I'm much too weak for that.  
  
I slip quietly into the room and his grey eyes rise to meet mine. No hatred now. Love and guilt and perhaps even despair, but certainly not hate. Like the fool that I am, I stand there and let him approach me. His arms are around my waist and his lips nearly pressed to mine before I push him away, my anger finally overwhelming me and spilling over the top. "No."  
  
"Gin…" Pleading. It's hard to stop myself from laughing at the thought of a Malfoy pleading with a Weasley.  
  
"We can't. I can't." Arms encircle me once more, holding tightly. Lips pressed hard against mine, still pleading. I break away, gasping for breath and mumbling some form of resistance. "Can't, Draco. We _can't_..."   
  
But we **will**.  
  
_Once, when our hearts were singing,  
I was with you.__


End file.
